When Asking for Help Feels So Unsexy.
When I left LA, I never thought one of my concerns would be eyelashes. I had a large supply back home and didn’t think to bring any of them, because…why? Argh!
Finding sexy, affordable eyelashes can be a little tough in Prague; at least it has been for me. They just don’t seem to be readily available. And, the ones that you do find are plasticy or pricey. Nothing a Bettie wants.
I finally bit the bullet and bought a plasticy pair during an awesome shopping excursion to Sapa, which is a Dollar Store Mecca and LA’s Downtown Fashion district rolled into one wonderland. The lashes I chose were thick and fluffy, perfectly great for Bettie performances…and plastic.
These lovely lashes would normally look great at the beginning of the show,and sure-enough, during a costume change, one of the Betties would squint into my face and be like, “Uhh, Peppur, your eyelash is sticking up.” And sure enough, I would peer into a mirror and the offensive thing would be shooting into the air like a zapped tarantula. I kept blaming it on the plastic, but it turns out I shoulda been blaming myself because just last week, after these countless performances, I realized it was me! I’d been putting them on backwards. Meaning, left on the right and right on the left. I’d been dyslexic.
This brings me to a larger and more important topic, and this is one of knowing when to ask for help.
Asking for help is sexy.
While getting ready for our Christmas performance for a private event, Bettie Nicole was patiently getting her eyelashes affixed to her face by Bettie Amanda. Now, Amanda is a pro and literally does hair and make-up for a living, so it is completely natural that Nicole would ask for help from Amanda. I watched them and I asked Nic, “Don’t you know how to do that yourself?” Always the schedule watchdog, I was asking because time was quickly ticking before we were to go on and I was concerned Amanda wouldn’t have time to get into her own fishnets because she was helping Nicole. With a bit of a friendly side-eye, they both assured me all would be okay and to take a chillpill. I took their cue and went back to putting on my own spidery lashes.
Well, sure enough, in our green-room post-performance, amid giddy laughs from a job-well done and with heavy breaths from dancing, I was told, “Uhh, Peppur, your eyelash is sticking up.” Sigh.
And this isn’t the first time something like this has happened.
Why is asking for help so hard?
Early this summer, I enlisted Amanda to have all the girls sashay to her salon, HEAD Salon, to get a tutorial from her on 40s-style hair-rolling. All the girls went; most of them learned successfully how to roll their hair. I, on the other hand, didn’t make the session.
During our November performance at the Bohemian Burlesque Festival created by Lucy Cihankova aka Anglecia G. L’Amour, I had a moment. I was feelin’ good and I took a risk…I was close to a gleaming black, baby grand piano and it was calling to me, so with chandeliers sparkling from above, I stepped from the stage and crawled up onto it. My fishnets slid so sultry-like as I slinked across it like a panther and then I was up on my knees and whipped my head around in ecstasy (ahhh!) and in the process I had a minor hair malfunction. The 40s Victory roll that I did not properly learn to do at Amanda’s nor asked for help with while we were getting dressed flew apart like a blown tire. Because I have natural hair, (this means my hair is not chemically straightened which makes it a bit more full and takes a little more work to get it to do stuff), the hair did not fall down nicely on my head and merely flop around once it blew out. Instead, it was sticking straight up in the air like Alfalfa. I know this because I saw my shadow on the wall in the glowing spotlight and was mortified. Therefore, the rest of our gorgeous “Hey Joe” dance was me sexily draping my arm over my head to nonchalantly hold down that unruly part of my hair.
These two lovely moments, along with others from my non-Bettie life, have reminded me that I must ask for help. Sometimes we don’t ask for help because we’re embarrassed to do so, or too busy, or naturally want to figure it out ourselves. Sometimes we’re afraid the person we want to ask won’t come through for us and we’ll be let down. I’ve experienced all of these things, and you probably have, too. It is just super important that we get past these weirdo obstacles and save ourselves from disaster. Good luck this new year with asking, even better luck with being super sexy!
By the way, I asked Bettie Amanda to do a tutorial on eyelash application. Here it is. Help yourself!
Peppur (aka ♥ Ms. Bettie ♥)
Peppur Chambers is the creator of Brown Betties Prague & LA and conducts Be Your Own Bettie (BYOB) empowerment workshops for women as the enchanting “Ms. Bettie”. Learn more about Brown Betties here. Sign up for a BYOB workshop in Prague, here. #BeYourOwnBettie