When a Bettie finds a new love.
A New Love
Love has always been something that amazes me, that fuels me, that lifts me, that makes my world go round. I am enamored with love and how it takes up space in our lives and pushes us to do things we never thought we would, to take chances, to step into the unknown, to feel all the feels, to be vulnerable, to expand ourselves bigger than we ever thought. Love has always strengthened me and it should because it is one of the only components in the world that we can all relate to and whether we know it or not we all yearn for. I grew up in a house full of love, full with love from my parents and being a witness to the love my parents have for each other. Growing up in a loving household made loving others easy, it allowed my heart to be open to love. When I married my husband, I knew he was the one, I knew he was my perfect love in this life and our love spoke a different language that only he and I could understand. We have navigated love in our own way and it is beautiful and fulfilling.
A couple of months ago, I fell in love with someone new. Someone unexpected and my heart jumps out of my chest and is shown so clearly on my sleeve. I have found another new language to speak and tears of joy are a constant as I look into my new lover’s eyes. He is beautiful, wonderful, more than I could have dreamed and everything and nothing that I could expect. My son, my fruit, my baby boy…our son, our fruit, our baby boy was born on December 10, 2018 and he has changed me forever. A warmth fills my body as I write these words because my love and happiness overwhelm me and sometimes all I can do is cry for this gift I have been given. My son, Kairos gives me new life, he gives me a new everything because his newness renews my soul, my heart and makes me know all is always ok. I am pushed forward, wrapped tight, expanded in ways I never knew and seeing life through a new lens. People ask if I feel different and the answer is, “Yes.” I am different. I am different as a woman, a wife, an actor, an artist, a daughter, a friend and a mother. I see in new levels of color and beyond myself. Kairos means God’s timing or the most opportune time…not human time and so I am reminded of that daily. That this life is filled with what we want to do and how we think it should get done and when it all should happen but we all know life is happening for us always and that is God’s time. My son reminds me of that and it has given me a new confidence, a new trust in myself and what I offer to the world, to relationships, to myself and stepping into that boldly with no filter but confidence that I have produced someone so wonderfully beautiful has landed me into what I call my new normal. We have produced the best project we will ever do and it has taught me to step into my light even more, to know that I am always enough and that love does change people and change the world. Kairos my son, I love you!